Faith gut check time.

Hi friends.

It's been awhile, and I feel like I say that a lot. Things have been craaazy around here for the past couple of weeks.

 

Have you ever noticed how rarely people post about the bad stuff? I'm guilty of it too.

If you scroll through facebook on a daily basis, you will probably notice that a lot of people are posting selfies with their new haircut, or talking about a promotion at work, which is fine, but something just hit me the other day-- do we ever post a picture of a bad hair cut? About getting fired from work? I'm asking myself these same questions too. Rarely do we see things like this.

And maybe it's because of that little "like" button haunting us.

 

So I'm just going to be straight here-- I don't have it all together. I'm a sinner, saved by the grace and mercy of Jesus. That's all.
I mess up daily. Lack faith. Whine and complain. Treat others terribly.

And the list goes on and on.
Just ask my husband. Unfortuntately he sees my ugly side a lot.

And the last 2 weeks were a complete faith gut check for me. You know those times when God just brings us down to our knees? I believe sometimes he does this so that we will get off of our high horse and realize that only HE is worthy of our praise, not ourselves.

For two weeks, I've been in and out of the hospital being poked and proded with needles. I've peed in more cups than I've ever wanted to. TMI.
I had been having terrible back pain which I've gotten on and off for the past 9 months. I thought that it was simply a muscle cramp or injury in my lower back.

I took the majority of the week off work last week and the week before.
I was literally laying on my living room floor crying out in pain, so I decided to go to the doctor.
After multiple blood tests and examinations, a CT scan revealed a large cyst (the size of a grapefruit) on my ovary. No wonder my back was hurting.

In just a matter of days I went from being fine to being told I have to have surgery.

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book."
Psalm 56:8

This terrified me, to say the least. So much, that I couldn't even pray. All I could do was cry.
I remember having the same response when I found out my niece had cancer. All I could do was cry, and say, "Please, God, please."

This reminds me of a book that I am reading now called "A Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. I have tried and tried to read this book, but to be honest with you, she has a very unique way of writing, and it can be challening at times to understand what she's saying. But in the weeks prior to my diagnosis, I have been finally delving into this book.

In it, she talks about finding joy in the trials of everyday life and about what it means to follow Christ through these times. She points out very early on in the book that Christ, the night before he would  take our place and be betrayed, flogged, and murdered, he GAVE THANKS to God. And even as he hung on the cross he PRAYED for those who mocked and persecuted him.

Wow. Nothing like a complete punch in the stomach. Gut check time.

Voskamp also talks about how joy can be in the little things of life. It doesn't always have to be in going on trips and seeing exotic places.

When we see our blessings and gifts from God in the small things of everyday life and give thanks to him, even in the hard times, we ultimately will be more joyful. And that was my word to start 2014.
Joy.
I should be doing this every day. I should be more joyful. I want to be. And I think the way to start being more joyful is to let go of things that don't matter. Thank and praise God for all of the blessing which he has given me. Thank and praise Him in the good times and in the bad. Thank and praise Him ALWAYS. Even when it's hard.

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:18

Voskamp also makes a list of 1000 gifts in her life throughout the book. Things that she's thanking God and praising him for as she stumbles across them daily.
One of hers that I read and loved last night was "Toast with the jam piled high."
I love that one.
So that's what I'm going to do.
Becky from Farmgirl Paints did this awhile back.
So even if I don't necessarily blog everyday, I'm going to make a list in a notebook and when I do blog, I will list them at the bottom. All the way to 1000.

Have a blessed day, friends.

1. MY HEALTH
2. A skilled team of doctor's and nurses who got me through a successful operation

3. My husband and family for being with me during it all
4. Above freezing weather and sun shine



Update*** If you're interested in purchasing this book, I just saw that it is only $5 on christianbook.com!





slip ups

I'm back.
I took a little break, as you probably know.

It's been busy around here. Like super busy. Some days I feel like I drag myself out of bed, run, run, run, and then am asleep before my head hits the pillow.

 

Man, I thought that once I was done with school life would slow down a little bit, but that's not the case.

 

It's so bad that some days I have to THROW, I mean, literally throw my hair into a pony tail, shove my peanut butter toast in my mouth, and speed to work. I wish I were exaggerating.

 

That's why I'm so thankful for Youtube and it's quick and easy hair styles!

 

Like this topsy turvy pony or this subtle twist with a side braid. Now that my hair is getting longer, I can actually do something with my hair when I'm running late, rather than just a pony tail.

 

Oh ya, and remember that no-sugar thingy that I was doing. Yeah, it lasted for a good solid 2.5 weeks, and then temptation got the best of me. I'm bummed that I slipped up a few times and a little upset with myself, but I just have to remember that I'm not perfect, and it's ok to slip up every now and then.

 But I'm determined to beat this thing, so it's back on for the month of February, along with no fried foods. I'm going to do it this time! Hopefully.

With lots of prayer and determination :)